The recession will not get in the way of your daughter’s bat mitzvah, dammit

bar mitzvah

We don't care how much it costs. Little Sarah will have the time of her life if she likes it or not.

While some young adults are living at home, (a recession trend we covered in November), others are partying it up as though we’re still in the ’90s. The LA Times noticed the boom when it covered the first Teen Party Expo, “where dozens of companies hawking tiaras, frilly dresses, disc jockey services and giant sheet cakes tried to capture a piece of the multibillion-dollar teen party market.”

Mothers planning quinceañeras, Sweet 16 parties, bar and bat mitzvahs and coming-out bashes barely batted an eye as teenagers modeled tiaras and chiffon dresses beneath a bright spotlight as an emcee uttered such phrases as “iridescent taffeta gown” and “sheer bodice.”

Think they’re worried about the recession? Try a $500 Renaissance taffeta gown.

Families are willing to splurge on a kid’s coming of age over a wedding because “this is still a milestone event, and you want to give your child that important day,” Lisa Hurley told the LAT. You’d think this was just as valuable as a college education, since parents apparently save up for years for the landmark event.

And of course, there’s always the prestige factor. Anyone who’s ever seen the vile My Super Sweet Sixteen on MTV knows that spoiled brats are just half of the equation responsible for the lavish ceremonies. No parent — no matter how badly suffering from the recession — wants to be outdone.

L’Chaim everybody!

The Fed keeps its rates low, while teens join the struggle to find jobs and unemployed women sell their engagement rings

scream painting

A weekly round-up of hopeless economy news.

  • The Federal Reserve left its benchmark interest rate near zero on Tuesday, affirming its view that job growth and other economic indicators remained weak as the United States slowly pulls itself out of recession. [NYT] Continue reading

Why I Have A Job(s): the phi beta kapa who speaks in tween

cute girls of the ivy league

A wide-mouthed arch is usually the first step in learning how to talk like a 12-year-old.

Name: Katie

Major: English and Comp Lit

What I do all day: Depends on the day; I coach girls’ basketball at a small private school, walk dogs, and tutor.

What I would rather be doing all day: Reading, traveling, basically being a student again.

Where I found this job: I’m trying an experiment where I only apply to things I find on Craigslist this year. So far, I’ve been pretty successful.

Why they hired me as opposed to hundreds of other overqualified Ivy league grads: For these particular jobs, it’s highly likely I was the only overqualified Ivy League grad to apply. Plus, I know the difference between zone defense and man-to-man.

Best part about being employed: Spending most of my days outdoors or in the gym and wearing sweatpants everywhere (actually, pretty much the same thing as being unemployed. . . ).

Worst part about being employed: Most of my conversations happen with dogs or 12-year-old girls — not to draw comparisons.

Heartfelt advice to your jobless friends who may have been freeloading off of you for months: There’s nothing wrong with working something that has absolutely no need for your diploma. This year has been a huge challenge and an even bigger adventure. It’s given me an entirely different perspective on what I want and where I’m headed.

If you would like to be featured in the weekly Why I Have a Job column or know someone who would, holla.

4 reasons why you should never sleep with the unemployed

jessica rabbit

Something tells me she is the antithesis of what you will find in the jobless dating pool.

A few weeks back, decided to get sex advice from the unemployed. I know it’s tough to keep those standards up when you can barely afford the drinks necessary to meet (and potentially sleep with) strangers, but I really can’t see how this was at all beneficial for those interviewed. Here are four things I gleaned from the piece about the sexual misadventures of the jobless.

1) The unemployed are so insecure about not having a job that you can’t even ask them what they do as a topic of conversation. Continue reading