Lindsay Lohan joins millions of unemployed — again

lindsay lohan

Is anyone really surprised her artsy nudy pics haven't shot her to newfound fame?

An open letter to Lindsay Lohan:

Look, I’ve made my fair share of digs against you, and really it stems from love, because before you became a crotch-flashing, drug-induced mess, you were kind of my teen actress idol — the pop star who wasn’t afraid to have curves, ignore the blonde-or-brunette binary, and be overtly sexual in a way that was refreshingly different from your bubblegum nemesis, Hilary Duff. Little did I know you would never be able to contain your sexuality and fame in a way that would ever be healthy…or allow you to keep a job!

So I’m taking matters into my own hands and writing you a completely useless public letter of concern. (Hey, at least I’m not storming your house with cops.) Continue reading

About these ads

Hire my friend: the Spanish lit major stuck in Arizona

amber

This is the wasteland known as Arizona.

Name: Amber

Major: I graduated with High Honors in Impracticality. My specific study area? Spanish Literature. And a minor in Art History, just to round out the irrelevance. I wrote a lot of really interesting research papers, shouldn’t that count for something? I like to think that I “learned to learn.”
What I would’ve majored in 4 years ago had I known the economy was going to hell: I’m not sure majors make any difference these days…I suppose if I could’ve managed triple-majoring in Engineering, Economics and Computer Science (and therefore sacrificed everything interesting about going to college), I may be in a better position. I think of more importance: I would’ve started my job search my freshman year.
Why I decided to waste $160K $200K on an Ivy League education: It seemed like a great idea somewhere along the line. I did get to meet some really amazing people!
Current City of Residence: Phoenix, AZ
Ideal City of Residence: Somewhere on the East Coast, where I actually know people. No one moves to Phoenix after graduating from an Ivy. I’m a pretty big fan of London as well. And Madrid. Actually, I love to travel, so I think I could make it work just about anywhere.
Current job: I’m employed full-time in the exciting industry of Finding a Job. That and learning financial modeling and the latest in social media. Gotta keep improving those marketable skills.
Dream job: I’m flexible. How about you tell me what you have available, and then I’ll tell you what my dream job is. In an ideal world, I’d get paid to travel, tell people about where I traveled, write about where I traveled, and find more places I want to travel to. Being the next Rick Steves would be pretty close.
Resume claim to fame: I wish we still lived in those times when your undergraduate institution WAS your claim to fame.
Greatest achievement I don’t like to talk about on interviews: Well I can’t really afford to be modest these days. I’m competing with several million 35 year-olds who have a laundry list of industry experience and impressive MBAs that stop me from even making it to the interview.

Recession-proof unpaid interns may be illegal

intern

Meet your 21st century office slave!

The government is finally cracking down on what most people have considered free labor for years: the unpaid intern. And in the recession, when employers would gladly take an unpaid worker over a paid one and with thousands of unemployed recent grads to choose from,  unpaid interns have become a major part of the current workforce.

According to the NYT,  the National Association of Colleges and Employers found that 83 percent of graduating students had held internships in 2008, up from 9 percent in 1992. The article continues, “This means hundreds of thousands of students hold internships each year; some experts estimate that one-fourth to one-half are unpaid.” Continue reading

Watch out job sluts: the economy’s on the rebound

census worker

Hello unemployed extrovert. This fine working chap could be you!

Congratulations, unemployed! Call your moms! Tell your neighbors! The economy’s on the upswing! You can now stop hoarding cans of soup and refried beans and telling people you blog for a living. According to the NYT, employers added 162,000 jobs last month. And all the experts have nothing but good things to say about the surging payrolls: Continue reading