Why I Have a Job: the physics major whose furry eyebrows got him a job

andriy

This is what Ivy League grads do best.

Name: Andriy

Major: Physics with math concentration

What I do all day: Consult

What I would rather be doing all day: Playing soccer, making out

Where I found this job: College career center

Why they hired me as opposed to hundreds of other overqualified Ivy league grads: Because they are trying to hire all of us with deep furry unibrows–that means we are serious, mean business, and are ready for the competitive corporate landscape.

Best part about being employed: Getting to live close to the Brooklyn Public House, counting down until it’s appropriate to leave the office

Worst part about being employed: Not having enough time to ever go to the Brooklyn Public House, getting a project just when you’ve finished said counting down

Heartfelt advice to your jobless friends who may have been freeloading off of you for months: Go to grad school before your brain rots!

If you would like to be featured in the weekly Why I Have a Job column or know someone who would, holla.

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Why I Have a Job: the math major who can afford to have his own bathroom

This is the face that inspires 14-year-olds everywhere to hug those parabolas.

This is the face that inspires 14-year-olds everywhere to hug those parabolas.

Every week, I coerce employed friends into giving job advice.

Name:  Mitch

Major:  Economics-Math

What I do all day:  I teach math to 9th graders, and they teach me about E-40.  It’s a pretty sweet deal.
What I would rather be doing all day:  Sitting in a cushy chair in the library, reading the great works of dead white people, like I did back in college.  I really had no idea how good I had it.  Being a first-year teacher in an urban school makes grad school sound like Club Med.
Where I found this job: One of the organizations that recruits teachers from non-education disciplines took me on.  The recruitment process was basically a cross between a college application and a normal series of job interviews.